A few things I’ve recently learned about myself.
My favorite genre/time period of music is 80s hair bands.
I asked someone close to me to guess what my favorite type of music was and they responded with 80s hair bands. I was taken by surprise, because I would not have picked that myself. There are many other genres and time periods I’m especially partial to, like 70s rock and Golden Oldies. I might’ve considered one of these other ones my favorite. But I’ve been thinking about it over the last few weeks, and it’s 80s hair bands. No matter what mood I’m in, what the circumstances are, I will always enjoy good head-banging rendition of I Wanna Rock or Cum on Feel the Noize or Welcome to the Jungle.
I should’ve been a swimmer.
When I was a child I loved being in the water. I always wanted to go swimming. But this is true for most children. By the time we reach adulthood, most people aren’t as enthralled with swimming as they were at a younger age. I still was, still am. Today I would spend hours in the pool if I could. I even learned the basics of freestyle, backstroke, and breaststroke at summer camp. And I have decent body type for swimming: tall, with long arms and legs and large hands and feet. My mom loved to swim too, so it’s probably in my genes or something. I probably still have time to learn and get better at swimming, but I feel I truly missed a great opportunity by not starting sooner.
I might be attracted to arrogant fuckboys.*
This revelation has been the most alarming of all. And I don’t think I mean romantically and sexually attracted to them, as much as I am interested in them, and want to be friends with them. Sometimes arrogant fuckboys are hilarious, which is such a waste seeing as how they’re so arrogant. But I like funny people (sometimes despite their other awful qualities, like arrogance) and I want funny people to think I have a sense of humor, too. And so it proceeds with these fuckboys, that I want them to like me and think me funny. It’s like I’ve proved something to myself in doing so. “If I can get a stuck-up asshat to like me, I can get anyone to like me!” It says more about me and my desire for approval than it does about them, and it’s a little messed-up. And the reason that this is mere interest and not attraction is because fuckboys like this don’t want to date funny girls like me – only be friends. Also I dislike arrogance enough to not want to date it.
*Do not think that I excuse fuckboy behavior because of this, or somehow endorse it, or am okay with it at all. This is merely something curious I am pointing out about myself.